Possible improvements to my first edit

I feel the majority of my shots are able to connect effectively with my teenage target audience as they are fast pace and care free; enabling the shots to represent them.
However, there are a few shots I am questioning after viewing my first edit. The close-up 'laughing' shots are not as effective as I'd hoped as with the characters looking directly at the camera it looks partly forced and unnatural. They don't seem to coincide with the rest of the fast-paced running shots as greatly as I'd hoped so I may have to question these shots when it comes to improving the edit.
The sparkler shots and the final 'walking into water' shot i'm also questioning as they don't look as professional as i'd hoped whilst still enabling to look care-free. There are also large gaps in my edit, where there is obvious room for new shots in which I think more experimental shots are needed such as filming in extreme weather or more experimental editing shots. This will have greater impact on the audience whilst adding to the care-free tone that i'm creating.
Overall, I feel there is still a great amount of filming and editing to be done to have the effect I want my video to display.

1st edit

Characters and costume

 

Character A
-16 year old sister Chloe Field.

 

 

Character B

-17 year old friend Rebecca Rackham.

 

Character C

-17 year old cousin Joshua Clubley.

 

Character D

-17 year old friend Yasmin Kay.

 

 

Half of Character E

-17 year old friend Kallum Mawer.

 

Half of Character E

-16 year old friend Sam Foston.

I chose six different individuals to play 'characters' in my video, as I thought this was a large enough number for the video to be varied and create the 'care-free' effect I wanted without the footage looking repetitive. It also ensured I could have an equal number of males to females to create a varied effect.
There is no preference to the labelling of the characters from A to E as after I organised and colour-coded the plan of action, the individuals were randomly allocated to each part. I split character E in two after I started filming, as I decided a sixth character was necessary to ensure the video looked volumous and varied, and character E had the most action planned.
Before filming, I gave each character specific instructions on how they should dress, playing the chosen song to them and asking them to dress as expected listeners to the song; to dress indie-like and avoid dull colours, as I thought the clash against the setting would look effective.

Costume
Character A:
-Black studded shorts.
-Bright pink wooly jumper.
-Leather jacket.
-Converse trainers.

Character B:
-Acid jeans.
-Baggy T-shirt.
-Leather jacket.
-Puma trainers.

Character C:
-Wooly hat.
-Patterened red shirt.
-Black, skinny jeans.
-Van trainers.

Character D:
-Black shorts.
-Checkered shirt.
-Wooly hat.
-Converse trainers.

Character E - 1
-Wooly jumper.
-Black skinny jeans.
-Van trainers.

Character E - 2
-Blue denim shirt.
-Blue jeans.
-Van trainers.

*As seen above, all characters dressed similarly to each other. This was something I organised especially so that all characters in the video would have the same style and reflect the possible 'indie' style of the listeners. This is an example of me creating some identity for my characters; effectively reflecting the expectations of the audience.